THE EYERANIANS

A funny cartoon about Ferdowsi square by Bozorgmehr Hosseinpour

The following is a satire piece by Hadi Khorsandi titled, “I am not a reformist, but I like reformists.” Taken from the online journal Gozaar, a project of Freedom House. They have several other great pieces by Hadi Khorsandi and other Iranian writers at their website. Unfortunately I was not able to find the English translation.

هادی خرسندی

12 بهمن 1386

  آقا نوه را بغل کردم. دقت کردم به لباس‌های این طفل سه‌ماهه:

یک تی- شرت، (یا عرقگیر خودمان) با تصویر نخدوزی شده‌ی یک اردک. رویش یک پیراهن با دوتا جیب روی سینه که نیمی از جیب چپ را تصویر برجسته‌ی یک گل آفتابگردان مجهز به یک زنبور‌عسل پوشانده. یک شلوار جین آبی با پاچه‌های تاخورده و طرح میکی‌موز سر زانو. یک کاپشن با چهارتا جیب روی اینها بر تنش. یک جفت جوراب بر پایش که بر ساقه‌اش دوتا خرگوش تعجب کرده بودند از اینکه آنجا چکار می‌کنند و به چه درد بچه‌ی سه‌ماهه می‌خورند!

 بچه حدود هشت‌تا جیب داشت و لباس پوشیدنش او را شبیه  الویس پریسلی کرده بود یا قهرمان شیکپوش سریال «ایکس فایل» یا جان تراولتا در فیلم گریس!

خنده‌ام گرفت. جرأت نکردم عصبانیتم را نشان بدهم. طفلک چارچنگولی توی لباس‌ها قالب گرفته شده بود و به روشنی معلوم بود که مغلوب این پوشاک شده است.

این، تازه، فرزند پدر و مادری است روشن‌بین، که بر صحنه‌ی نمایش، طنزشان، «تازه‌ به دوران رسیدگی» را هدف می‌گیرد و ریخت و پاش‌های جامعه‌ی مصرفی و بی‌ملاحظه‌گی‌های زیست محیطی را مسخره می‌کنند. زن و شوهر عقاید سوسیالیستی هم دارند. (البته از نوع فراگیر و متمدن اروپایی‌اش، نه چینی و روسی!)

سر صحبت که باز شد، دخترم توضیح داد که همه‌ی این لباس‌ها را هدیه گرفته‌اند و شوهرش در مورد کاپشن بچه، توضیح داد که جیب بالای دست راست، برای سیگار است اما معنی باقی جیب‌ها را نمی‌داند!

کلی خندیدیم. زن و شوهر از دنیای فریبنده‌ی «سیسمونی» در سیستم سرمایه‌داری تعریف کردند که تازه من کجایش را دیده‌ام. صندلی‌هایی که وقتی بچه گریه می‌کند، شروع می‌کند او را تکان دادن، و در مقابل بچه، چراغ‌های رنگارنگ روشن و خاموش می‌شود و موزیک ملایمی که نت آن با نت گریه‌‌‌ی بچه هم‌خوانی دارد، شروع می‌کند از چهارطرف اتاق پخش شدن. (حالا من هم دارم یک کم چاخان قاطیش می‌کنم‌!)

شاپرک‌خانم یک لباس ساده‌ی سرتاسری نشانم داد که خودش برای بچه خریده و گفت “من این را تنش می‌کنم و  آن‌ها را دیگران آورده‌اند. امروز داشتم کفش‌هاشو پاش می‌کردم، گفتم بچه‌ی سه‌ماهه کفش میخواد چیکار؟!….”

من دیگر پاپی نشدم که پس چرا بچه، سه‌چهارتا سبد و تخت‌روان برای خواب و بیداری و قبل از خواب و بعد از حمام و توی اتومبیل و طبقه‌ی پایین و اتاق‌خواب بالا دارد؟! این اسراف و ولخرجی هم از دست و دل بازی دیگران است؟ … خوب، بچه‌ی اول‌شان است و دنیای تبلیغات هم حسابی از احساس جادویی والدینی سودجویی می‌کند.

طفلی را این‌طور ترو خشکش می‌کنند؛ اما از چهار پنج سالگی زندگی‌اش می‌شود مثل زندگی شریف‌امامی یا رونالد رامسفلد! باید ساعت هفت صبح از خواب بلند شود و تا حدود شش بعد از ظهر زندگی اداری و اجتماعی داشته باشد! صبح‌ها حدود ساعت 9 یک پدر یا مادر خواب‌‌آلوده، می‌اندازدش توی یک مهدکودک یا «نرسری» یا چه می‌دانم «کیندرگاردن»، بعد از چهار عصر هم یک پدر یا مادر خسته از کار روزانه می‌آید دنبالش می‌برند طفالکی را می‌شویندش و خشکش می‌کنند و غذایی می‌دهند و می‌خوابانندش که صبح زود دوباره برود به همان جایی که دیروز رفته بوده! دیگر نه پدر حال و حوصله‌ی حرف زدن با او را دارد، نه مادر. حرف‌ها می‌ماند برای شنبه و یکشنبه و ویکند و هالیدی. البته اگر طفلک یادش بیاید که آن روز صبح چه می‌خواسته بپرسد و آن روز غروب چه سوالی کرده بوده که پدرش جواب داده یکشنبه یادم بینداز تا جوابت را بدهم!

خوبی‌اش این است که علم و تکنولژی به زودی به ما امکان «کولون» کردن می‌دهد که هرچندتا بخواهیم، این بچه‌ها را تکثیر کنیم.

حالا حکایت ماست! هی فغان و فریاد که اهل این بازی‌ها نیستیم، ولی خب چه می‌شود کرد؛ دوست‌شان هم داریم!  

I recently stopped by a Persian blog writen by Abdul-Mohammad Shaarani, a school teacher in Iran. He teaches in the “Kalu” elementary school which has only four students. The school is located in a small port called Dayyer on South Eastern part of Iran. By using the internet, Kalu has found a world-wide audience receiving letters of support from people around the world everyday.

For those who cannot read Persian, an Iranian in Australia created an English blog for Mr. Shaarani, which has caught the attention of UNESCO. You can read Mr. Shaarani’s interview here:
http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,2144,3228584,00.html

By: M. A. Sepanlu, January 2002

British scholar Noel Malcom in his book “A short history of Bosnia” printed in Britain offers valuable research about the racial relationship between Iranians and some ethnicities of the former Yugoslavia. He writes: “The name Croat, or Hravat in Serbian, is not a Serbian word. It is similar to the Iranian name Choroatos, found on tombstones of Greek dwelling regions of south Russia.” He goes on to add that the original form of the word is “Khoravat” as mentioned in Avesta, meaning “friendly”.

Historical studies indicate that the Croats started migrating from the Iranian homeland to Croatia, Serbia and Bosnia about 3,000 years ago. However, a much larger migration took place about 1,700 years ago. Probably the reason behind this migration was the suppression of the followers of Manichean faith during the Sassanid era. The said scholar LSO says that the word Serb has also Iranian origin, which can be recognized in the word “Charv” meaning cattle.

According top ancient documents, these two ethnic groups were tribes of Iranian origin that had accepted Slavic subjects among themselves.

Noel Malcom says that new theories confirm historical knowledge. Some Croatian nationalist theoreticians have opted to adopt the theory linking their origins to Iran, thereby preserving their cultural and psychological independence, in order not to merge into the neighboring cultures. Such a theory gained particular popularity during World War II, for Iranians were considered to have a higher ranking compared to the Slava in terms of racial hierarchy. However, in Malcom’s words, the plain historical fact is that both the Croats and the Serbs migrated at the same time, and both have some characteristics of Iranian peoples.

One point is clear: the early immigrants called themselves Khoravat or Croat in order to distinguish with other tribes of that region. These Iranian-origin immigrants also did something more to stress the difference: they tied a handkerchief around their necks, something which later gained global popularity under the name of Cravat.

In 1656 CE, Louis XIV formed a regiment of Croat volunteers inside his army. The members of this regiment, in accordance to their ancient tradition, wore a neckerchief of plain of floral silk, its ends dangling from the tie. It could also be used as bandage if the soldier was wounded. After this time the Croatian scarf was accepted in France, above all in court, where military ornaments were much admired. The fashionable expression, �a la croate�, soon evolved into a new French word, which still exists today: la cravate. Some 170 years later, the necktie became a universal fashion. It would be worthwhile to add that the Croatian national flag is derived from the chessboard, thus some nationalist historians consider Croatians the descendants of Bozorgmehr, the chess master and minister of the Sassanid era.

Talking of the global influence of Persian, it would also be interesting to not that the word Pajamas has Persian origins, meaning “leg ware”. My mind drifts back to the Mauritanian desert. In an isolated oasis, an old man opens an ancient book, reading with not so familiar accent, one of the great poems of Sa’adi” “Human beings are organs of one body.”

 نامه ای خواندنی و بسیار کوتاه از یک کودک ده ساله

click here to read the letter

Us Iranians wake up in Tehran in the mornings. Our business and shopping area is in Dubai. Our talent is discovered in Tehran, but our genius blossoms in Europe. We go to France or London to study, but as we do not like to work in Europe, we work in the USA. Any time we lose our job, we go to Central Europe to claim unemployment benefit.
Our television programs are broadcast from Los Angeles and watched in Khorram Abad. We make our films in Iran’s deserts, but we show them in Venice, Paris and Berlin and win awards for them there.
In Cologne we support a republic and in Tehran monarchy; our most important political articles are written in Evin prison, but read in Paris. From Washington we become an election candidate, but we are not accepted in Tehran, so we boycott elections in Berlin and in London we decide to have a referendum. In Holland we become member of parliament and in Israel a president. In Tehran we disagree with the government, in Iraq we fight with the government, but in Lebanon we defend the government.
In Tehran we hold a rock concert, but our classical concert is loved by German audiences in Frankfurt; in Ankara we go to Persian pop music concerts, but we dance in Anatalya. In Canada we win the beauty competition. Our women’s rights are abused in Mashad, but we defend women’s rights in Sweden.
Our crown prince lives in USA, our queen lives in a French town, our ex-president lives in Paris, the head of our justice system was born in Iraq; in return Iraq’s Prime Minister lived many years in Iran and Israel’s president was born in Iran. We live in Iran, have fun in Turkey, make money in the USA and return to Iran to die.”

This is a great interview with Prof. Richard Fry.

Here is my reading of Bijan Taraghi’s poem Poshte Panjare or “Behind the Window.” Sina Najmai played the Sitar.
This is a video from the 2007 Annual Persian Performing Arts Show (University of Texas at Austin)

Here is my reading of Khosrow Golesorkhi’s poem “Agar Yek Ba Yek Barabar Bood” which in translates to “If one was equal one” during last weekend’s Persian Performing Arts Show at the University of Texas at Austin. Sina Najmai played the Sitar. The text of this poem is posted at The Iranian.

Golesorkhi was famous for his leftist poetry and was convicted with his friend, Keramat Daneshian, a director, for plotting to kidnap the Shah of Iran’s son. The military court was shown to the world because at the time of the trial the Shah was hosting the Conference for Human Rights in Tehran. The video is also posted below.

Golsorkhi’s execution was broadcast on state television. The court became a symbol of the Shah’s dictatorship and hypocrisy, due to its content most of the trial proceedings was censored. After the 1979 revolution the entire trial was shown on public television, but again it was censored after the fall of Mehdi Bazargan’s government. A few month ago Iran’s Channel 3 showed a censored version of Golesorkhi’s trial which is the same video posted below. Full Text of Golesorkhi’s speech can be viewed at Fars News and Noqte.

By Virginia Avery

Legend has it that a Persian king who had been bet ray ed by an unfaithful wife wed a virgin each night, and each morning had her beheaded. Three thousand unfortunate women lost their lives this way… until he met Scheherazade. On their wedding night, she told him a story that was so enthralling, he begged for another. She promised one for the following night … and on the following night, she promised one for the night after that. Her stories were so enchanting that this went on for 1001 nights. And then he made her his queen.

Unlike Scheherazade, your life may not depend on being able to tell a good story, but it is a powerful tool to use when giving presentations. Stories help build rapport with your listeners and make your presentations more engaging and memorable. They work whether you’re pitching a project to your boss, courting a new client, or giving a talk to an audience of hundreds.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Structure your story in three parts: the setting, the problem, and the solution.
2. Practice your story several times in front of friends and/or family members. Listen to their feedback, then refine the story until only the essential details remain.
3. Tell the story in a conversational way - as if you were talking one-on-one to someone you know. If you use dialog, change your voice for each character.
4. Remember to pause from time to time. Pausing heightens the expectation that something important is coming. It keeps your listeners’ attention.
5. At the end of the story, restate the point you’re making to be sure it’s understood.

By using stories as part of your presentations, you’ll engage your audiences, forge a connection with them, and make sure your points stick with them long after the presentation is over.

h/t to Dean Merat